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The current year signifies a full decade since the phrase “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the idea that someone could abruptly cease communication with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the decade since, seeking a mate has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Zoomers, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a extensive guide to the terms this generation is using to talk about love, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – According to Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is engaged or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to choosing someone who helps you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to pairs who forgo parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral traits indicating a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their exes unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks confirm your choice to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic display.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {